I found this quote and the moment I saw it I felt confused. All of it is what i want, but i asked myself .. is this what D is like?
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her..."
Just reading it makes me feel like this is what I want.
But i also want poverty to end in the world and hunger to be no more then a memory...
Friday, March 27, 2009
A SunFlower Seeds Kinda Day
Today I bought sunflower seeds. Turns out, it was a good idea. The weather man made Hamburger Helper... for me... a (kinda) vegetarian...
I am in the mood to release. I find that this site is good for such things, I need to shed the bad feelings that dwell within my heart to help in any way to lift off the weight I feel daily.
And Jenny Craig can't help THIS weight, no ma'am.
So here I go, my vent, if you do not wish to have negative thoughts, I'd advise you to turn away.
Where to start, well with the most recent i suppose, I'm in trouble for not having enough money for my bus pass. It's $130, I get paid $35 dollars weekly. That's $140 a month. I would have to save all my money up to afford it, and not eat, or have books, or photo copy the legal documents (About 5 bucks a day on those things). I'm getting confused and cranky. Why don't they help me? isn't that what parents are for? When I'm in need they help me? Indeed?
Well apparently not. So how am i going to get a school (Good question Tom, lets here a word from our sponsors)
My mom suggests I get a new job, I don't think she realizes the stress I am under.
Meanwhile, money that I gave my mother seems to have gone missing, my taxes where not filled FOR me but instead the weather man took the money, and yet I have to take care of my own stuff? Unbelievable.
I wish i could find a job as a secretary. Answer phone, book appointments, schedule people, help people with questions. I think that would be "fun".
For now, I am sitting here, eating my sunflower seed (hiding them so they dont find out) feeling unsafe in my own home and wondering if the little one across the hall feels the same, while he watches Donkey Kong the movie on VHS.
By the way, I'm now on page 470.
I feel like giving up on everything..... but I still wonder..
I am in the mood to release. I find that this site is good for such things, I need to shed the bad feelings that dwell within my heart to help in any way to lift off the weight I feel daily.
And Jenny Craig can't help THIS weight, no ma'am.
So here I go, my vent, if you do not wish to have negative thoughts, I'd advise you to turn away.
Where to start, well with the most recent i suppose, I'm in trouble for not having enough money for my bus pass. It's $130, I get paid $35 dollars weekly. That's $140 a month. I would have to save all my money up to afford it, and not eat, or have books, or photo copy the legal documents (About 5 bucks a day on those things). I'm getting confused and cranky. Why don't they help me? isn't that what parents are for? When I'm in need they help me? Indeed?
Well apparently not. So how am i going to get a school (Good question Tom, lets here a word from our sponsors)
My mom suggests I get a new job, I don't think she realizes the stress I am under.
Meanwhile, money that I gave my mother seems to have gone missing, my taxes where not filled FOR me but instead the weather man took the money, and yet I have to take care of my own stuff? Unbelievable.
I wish i could find a job as a secretary. Answer phone, book appointments, schedule people, help people with questions. I think that would be "fun".
For now, I am sitting here, eating my sunflower seed (hiding them so they dont find out) feeling unsafe in my own home and wondering if the little one across the hall feels the same, while he watches Donkey Kong the movie on VHS.
By the way, I'm now on page 470.
I feel like giving up on everything..... but I still wonder..
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Page 247
I woke up at about 10h30 this morning.. it's 1h00 now. I've been waiting for mom to get home before I went downstairs.. I don't think she's home.. I haven't heard her although I did hear a car pull into the drive way about an hour ago. I've been reading.. waiting. Currently I am in the middle of the book It by Stephen King. I read from 184-247.. I could have done better.
I dont like going downstairs when he's down there, I know it sounds stupid but I'm not really in the mood to get yelled at, although I probably already will because I "slept" until 1.
My fingers are black from the ink of the book. I wonder why that happens? It's kinda gross.. and hard to wash off now that I think of it. I'll probably get in trouble for that too if I leave marks on the wall or my door.
I just heard a car door slam, might be mum not sure though. I think I might go check, maybe not.
Let me sleep on it.
I dont like going downstairs when he's down there, I know it sounds stupid but I'm not really in the mood to get yelled at, although I probably already will because I "slept" until 1.
My fingers are black from the ink of the book. I wonder why that happens? It's kinda gross.. and hard to wash off now that I think of it. I'll probably get in trouble for that too if I leave marks on the wall or my door.
I just heard a car door slam, might be mum not sure though. I think I might go check, maybe not.
Let me sleep on it.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Small ray of sunlight peeking through the cloud I call home
Living here isn't the greatest. Sparing details, it's like a giant cloud, raining acid rain over the small people inside it. The weather man sits high in his chair of deceit and anger and stares down on us waiting...
I don't like the weather man.
And as I am being rained on, my hopes melting away, I receive a phone call. Hello Damien, and thank you.
I don't like the weather man.
And as I am being rained on, my hopes melting away, I receive a phone call. Hello Damien, and thank you.
POP!
My first ever blog.. what I am doing making a blog an hour before work I don't really know.
I actually stopped to think about making a blog a couple weeks ago. I had a bunch of interesting things happen to me that weren't worth telling people other then on a blog.. but of course I have forgotten them all by now.
So here, a blog of my very own. I think I'll name it.
Let me sleep on it though... I'll get back to you.
I actually stopped to think about making a blog a couple weeks ago. I had a bunch of interesting things happen to me that weren't worth telling people other then on a blog.. but of course I have forgotten them all by now.
So here, a blog of my very own. I think I'll name it.
Let me sleep on it though... I'll get back to you.
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