*Oink*

I have a feeling that my days are numbered.

Disregarding my tumor and the constant stomach aches, this is serious...
We are at a level 5 out of 6 pandemic and I believe I have it.

The symptoms of the swine flu are:

• Headaches
• Lack of appetite
• Lack of sleep
• Fatigue
• Dizziness
  
• Sore throat
• Coughing

Ive had many headaches within the past couple days and I`m tried a lot. I also have a burning throat and i`ve been coughing too. I am freaking terrified.

I wonder if they have a cure yet... probably not.
And what if really, they say they have a cure, but in fact it is a poison that will kill half the race to make it easier for the government to control us?

Just a thought. Let me sleep on it, if i don`t die before I wake up.

Fighting The Urge To Say No...

I just had the worst day I have ever had in weeks, and I don't even know where to start.
With D, I suppose, seeing as he's the reason for the season right?
I just... don't know.
Today was our one year and one month engagement. He forgot. Now, I know, it's not SUCH a big deal. It's one year and one month, not one year. But it still hurt. A lot. To add insult to injury, he remembered his best friends birthday. By bestfriend I mean someone he hasn't spoken to in a year maybe two. I just don't get it.
Also, he went to work today (supposed to finish at one) and I didn't hear from him until 3! BECAUSE I CALLED HIM!!!
His response: Oh, I had to go for an interview and I had to pay for the car and I am now cleaning it.
How easy is it for him to send me a text saying that he will be busy? Like I don't think I am asking for much!!
And when he doesn't text, I feel like he just doesn't respect me enough to tell me where he's going. He wants a life where he doesn't have to tell anyone where he is going and he just goes there and no one can tell him nothing about it.

If he wants that, he shouldn't be dating me.

I don't know what I am going to do about all this, I think I've had enough but I just love him so much... If only.....

By the way, finished the book.

Two years too long

So tomorrow is me and Damien's two year anniversary. In other words, my lifestarted two years ago tomorrow.
I'm excited.
I love him eternally, he is my everything and I am so greatful to have him in my life.
When I look back on the years that have past, I wonder to myself....

How did I do it without him?

How did I live? How did I not break down....
I did. A lot. And finally I had lost all hope.

But then I thought of him... his smile, his voice, his laugh and humour, the way he said my name with love in his voice and pride in his voice. Love. Pride. For me. Me.
I never really thought it was possible two years ago. Before I met him, i was going down a small spiral slide down down down down.. into nothingness. I was helpless and scared and wrong. Always wrong.

Tonight, I am dedicating my night to him. Thinking about him and what he has done for me and appreciating him for who he is and who he will become. He has so much potential and I am going to be here for him as much as I can.

I love him

Happy two year anniversary my love